


A Change in You, In Us

by CanKarmaWrite



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Campaign 2 (Critical Role), Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, First Aid, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Battle, Rough Kissing, Soulmate AU, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, The Author Regrets Nothing, This was supposed to be a short fic, and then I started writing and didn't stop, second chapter is pure smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27912643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanKarmaWrite/pseuds/CanKarmaWrite
Summary: tumblr prompt:Hi Hello There! You know what is coming BUT Beauyasha, soulmate au where they after a difficiult battle finally talk about them being soulmates ( I would love it if it's the hair-strip soulmate thingy But if you have another one in mind then go nuts my friend) -allenthelostWarning for Main Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Graphic Depictions of Violence, AND POSSIBLE SPOILERS if you aren't caught up with campaign two.
Relationships: Beauregard Lionett/Yasha
Comments: 9
Kudos: 152





	1. Judgement

**Author's Note:**

> Allen, this one's for you. <3

Beau had been close to death a handful of times throughout her life. It had happened too many times for her to still be afraid of death, and too few to dissuade her from throwing herself into danger with reckless abandon. Sure, she was a lot more calculated in her fighting and didn’t get herself into dangerous situations as often, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t throw herself beneath a blade to save someone she cared for if the opportunity presented itself. When she was a young teenager, Beau was sure she wasn’t going to live longer than 18 years, maybe 20 if she got lucky. Now, here she was, a handful of years past then and yet it still felt like she might not make it to the next year, or the year after that. 

Before she met the Mighty Nein, Beau didn’t have any plan or direction in her life. She had no debts owed, no plans made, and no real drive to make a difference in the world beyond her own personal sphere of influence. That had very quickly changed, and though she was happy to have purpose and use, that same corrosive feeling of self-hatred lingered at the corners of her mind and kept her expectations low for what she would get out of her time with this little found family. 

Yasha’s letter changed  _ everything _ . 

The letter proved Beau’s deepest desire and biggest fear true; someone actually saw past the armor and still wanted her, damage and all. 

It had been a handful of days since she first read Yasha’s letter and, in the ensuing days, she’d read the letter at least twice a day to the point that the creases in the paper were going soft at the edges from the number of times it had been folded and unfolded. She had almost gone to Yasha that first night with the letter, but that same hungry and restless monster called self-doubt crowded the edges of her happiness with its unwanted presence. 

Beau was planning on talking to Yasha before they arrived at Aeor's ruins, but their timeline on stopping the Tomb Takers was shortening and unfortunately, she had to put her feelings on hold until they had a moment of respite. 

Beau didn't want her response to be rushed and knew Yasha would understand the patience and planning that went into professing your love for someone. Yasha had done it in a letter, but Beau was always one to let her actions speak for her.

She had made up her mind to ask Caleb to alter a few things about the tower when he cast it tonight and was planning to talk to him about it as soon as they retrieved whatever relic they sought at A2.

\---

"No!" 

The shout came from somewhere over Yasha's left shoulder and the voice was familiar but she so close to beating the creature she had been exchanging blows with for the past few minutes. There were a series of deep lines gouged across her back by the claws of this horribly mutated semi-human creature with multiple arms and rows of jagged teeth, but she could feel the rage of battle crackling under her skin like the sky when charged and ready to release the fury of the heavens. The creature was slowing down and Yasha tasted victory in the blood from her split lip. 

The victory was a short-lived one.

After watching the monstrosity fall to the ground cleaved in two she turned expecting to see one of her teammates standing above the corpse of their vanquished foe as well. 

Instead, she turned just in time to watch Beau crumple to the ground unconscious as crimson bloomed across her abdomen from the large wound there. 

The creature standing in front of Beau had a set of three dextrous tails held aloft behind its ram-head like a scorpion, and the tail that was retreating from near Beau was dripping with crimson. 

_ Beau. _

Yasha was familiar with her rage, comfortable even. She knew how to control its direction and keep it from completely overwhelming her, a lesson she'd learned early in her days as a warrior in her tribe. The tunnel vision that came with uncontrolled rage in battle was more deadly than any enemy you would fight. If you couldn't control your rage it would block out the world around you and that was something you couldn't afford on a busy battlefield.

What she felt now was beyond rage. 

It wasn't red, but a blinding and brilliant supernova of white light and energy that exploded from her very soul and filled the space around her. 

Someone was screaming as Yasha took two confident steps towards the horribly disfigured amalgamation of ram, scorpion, and man. 

Time stretched and slowed, the sounds of the battle fading out until all that was left was the sound of her sword singing a single crystalline tone as radiant energy pulsed through it. There was a new weight tugging at her shoulders as her arms began to pull Magician's Judge back into an attacking stance, a weight she would later realize was her wings snapping out to her sides like twin righteous whips. 

Yasha blinked slowly and when she opened her eyes again the sword had found its target in this abomination's chest. As her moment of angelic radiance passed, Yasha grit her teeth and twisted the blade in an act of painful and final judgment. 

She stayed on her feet long enough to be sure the creature was dead before she dropped her sword and fell at Beau's side, biting at her lip to hold back a pained shout as her own body screamed in protest. 

The storm crackling through her veins surged forward determinedly when she placed her hands over the wound on Beau's abdomen. The woman beneath her didn't move at Yasha's touch and her heart sank as the meager healing she was able to offer didn't bring her love back to consciousness. If she had the energy, she would have carried Beau across the room to Jester or Caduceus, but she was so...tired. 

As the battle finished up around her, Yasha's bloodied body gave in to the pain and exhaustion and slumped over Beau's body, trying to protect her even as blackness fell across her mind like a velvet blanket. 

\---

After the fighting was over, Caduceus and Jester immediately rushed to heal their fallen teammates with the spells they had remaining. Yasha attempted to refuse healing as soon as she was conscious enough to do so, but Jester didn't even let her finish before firmly covering her mouth with her mitten clad hand. It was only then Yasha realized her head was being cradled in the cleric’s lap. She looked around for Beau, and Jester must have seen the look in her eyes because she removed her hand from Yasha’s mouth and laid it gently against her cheek. 

"We stabilized and healed Beau as much as we could, but you aren't resistant to poison like her, so let me heal you a little more okay?"

“Where is-” Yasha didn’t have a chance to complete that sentence.

“Beau is just a few feet away so don’t worry. Fjord is sitting with her. She hasn’t woken up yet but Caduceus says that she’s gonna be okay." Jester tried not to let her bottom lip quiver as her words ended, but the fat tears rolling down her freckled cheeks gave the tiefling away. Yasha nodded tensely and laid her head back into Jester’s lap as a familiar green-hued magic danced across her body and sought the wounds it was sent to heal.

“Thank you, Jester.” The aasimar murmured as she relaxed her shoulders and allowed a low, deep breath to fill her lungs to their capacity now that it didn’t hurt to breathe. “Did you see what happened? I remember hearing someone shout behind me, but by the time I turned Beau was…”

“That scorpion-tail beast would’ve killed you, but Beau threw herself between the tail and your back. She tried to catch it mid-strike but instead deflected it as much as she could.” Jester slid her hands under Yasha’s back to help her sit up before moving around to kneel before her. “Sooo...you turned and like, you gave a battle cry and then your wings came out and omigosh Yasha! Your hair turned totally white and your eyes glowed and then Magician’s judge glowed and you totally killed that thing like a badass.” She paused to sniffle a bit and smile at Yasha through her tears. “Caduceus said he heard thunder, but I didn’t hear anything.” 

Yasha reached a hand out to Jester in case the cleric wanted to hold it and smiled when the little blue tiefling took it in both of her mittened hands and held it tightly. 

“I was so worried about you two Yasha.”

“I’m sorry Jester. Thank you for healing me though.” Her brain was still processing all of what Jester had said, and after a moment her hands reached up to pull a few pieces of hair in front of her face. Jester was right, it had gone completely white, save for the braided bit of chestnut brown hair that was usually hidden amidst the rest of her hair. 

This trickery cleric was far too observant for her own good and gasped when she glanced between the still sleeping monk and the blushing barbarian, noticing the strip of white peeking out from the middle of Beau’s braided locks. 

“ _ YASHA!  _ Omigosh! Did you know you were soulmates this whole time?” Jester shuffled closer on her knees, tail flicking wildly behind her as she shook Yasha’s hand a bit in excitement.

“Um, well this just really confirmed it. I think we both suspected but…” Yasha wiped Magician’s Judge against her cloak to clean it of the blackish ichor that remained from her most recently kill. After a moment she held the blad aloft so she could see her reflection and blinked a few times to confirm what she saw. 

“Well, do you think you can carry her into the tower? Fjord would but he’s just so weak-” Fjord made an indignant sound at that, which Jester of course ignored. “-And I think Beau would prefer it if you carried her.” Jester winked devilishly and helped Yasha to her feet as she prattled on about how Yasha could confess her feelings, unaware of the letter folded in Beau’s pocket. 

She was still stiff in places, and there were a few spots where the new scar tissue she’d acquired was very sensitive, but overall she felt in good enough to shape to make it all the way to Beau’s room. 

Fjord laid a gentle hand on Yasha’s shoulder as they made their way into the tower, though his gaze remained locked on Beau as he spoke. “That was some really cool angel shit back there Yasha...Take good care of my First Mate, okay?”

Yasha nodded and followed Fjord’s gaze down to the familiar and breathtaking sight in her arms. Even with bruising around her eyes from a nose that had definitely been broken earlier and a nasty split lip, Yasha thought Beau was the most beautiful sight she’d every laid eyes on. 

“Caduceus will probably be up in a bit with some tea for you, but both you and Beau need rest so promise me you’ll at least  _ try  _ to sleep? Even if it’s only for a little?” 

“I promise...Fjord? I-I love her so much. When she went down...I just- I didn’t know what to do.” The look on Fjord’s face said he understood how she was feeling, which helped sooth her anxiety just a bit. 

“I’m sure you two will have a lot to talk about when she wakes up.” Fjord patted her bicep gently and began to make for his own room before he stopped and turned to give Yasha an encouraging smile. “I’m really happy for both of you, by the way. You’re good for each other.” 

She ducked her head and nodded shyly, “I think so too.” 

“G’night Yasha, don’t have too much fun with that mirror.” Fjord tapped the side of his nose before grinning cheekily and heading off for the night. 

As he disappeared, she sighed and shook her head a bit. She was never going to live down that mirror comment. 

She finally shut the door of Beau’s bedroom behind her and exhaled a deep sigh before gently resting the monk atop the towels she asked the cats to lay out on the bed. After a few minutes of gently using a damp rag to get the worst of the blood and grime off Beau’s skin Yasha felt her eyes begin to shut as sleep crept into the edges of her mind. She fumbled slightly trying to rid Beau of her blood stained clothing, feeling slightly awkward doing this while Beau still lay unmoving, but she also knew all of their clothing probably needed a good wash after the fight they’d had today. 

After sending the laundry off with a large fluffy grey cat and dressing in an oversized cotton tunic, Yasha sat beside the bed in a comfortable chair and cleaned her sword until sleep eventually claimed her too. 

\----

“No!” 

Beau woke with a start and immediately tried to sit up, ignoring the stabbing pain in her side as she looked for Yasha. She didn’t have to look far, as the barbarian was looking at her blearily from a chair beside her bed. Beau could see they’d made it back in the tower at some point, but she wasn’t exactly sure how long had passed because there were a few things throwing her off. 

First, was Yasha’s hair. It was... _ white. _ Completely white. Her hands immediately moved to find the piece of her hair that had always been different than the rest. She was already pretty sure Yasha was her soulmate, but seeing the braided bit of brown in the sea of white that made up the aasimar’s hair made her heart flutter all funny in her chest. 

“ _ Oh fuck. _ ” Beau breathed, her voice raspy from sleep and lack of water.

“Beau, you should lay back down.” Yasha said softly by her side, eyebrows pulling together in a concerned mask. 

“Only if you get in bed with me-” Beau’s eyes widened as she realized what she’d said. 

“Not in that way!” She swallowed drily and mentally chastised herself before continuing. “I mean, not that I would complain about it being that way. Just maybe not until this giant hole in my side heals at least. I want you to be comfortable and…”

They stared at each other, speechless for a few endless moments before Yasha nodded and laid her sword aside before walking to the other side of the bed. After hesitating for a moment Yasha pulled the covers back and She looked like she had been about to lay facing away from Beau when the smaller woman cleared her throat of the tears threatening to choke it and lay a gentle hand against Yasha’s chest, resting just above where her heartbeat was strongest. 

“I’m sorry. I should have been faster. I could have caught it, I just…” Beau stopped talking and watched as Yasha rolled on her side with one hand supporting her head from beneath the pillow. The other hand reached out to touch the strip of white hair Beau sported before moving to gently lay against Beau’s cheek. 

“How do I convince you that I want- no, that I need you here? I can’t watch you keep throwing yourself in harm’s way. I could have taken the hit Beau, you didn’t have blood to spare.” Mismatched hues watched the woman before her chew on her bottom lip thoughtfully for a few moments before she lifted her electric blue gaze to meet Yasha’s. 

“I need you here too, Yash. I may have been a little careless, but I couldn’t stand by and watch that fucker make a kebab out of you.” That sentence, at least, elicited a short laugh from the taller woman. “Also, um...I guess this sorta confirms things? Super hot by the way, the white hair.” Her bronzed cheeks flamed with embarrassment as she admitted this to Yasha, but the barbarian just rolled her eyes and moved slightly closer. 

“You’re going to make things difficult on purpose sometimes, aren’t you?” Yasha questioned, her gaze moving from Beau’s eyes to her lips, and back up to her eyes. 

“Duh,” Beau murmured, already running her fingers over the braid of her hair color Yasha was sporting. “Are you gonna kiss me or what? I did almost die for you today, that’s pretty romantic.” 

A beat passed. Another. 

“I’ll kiss you...”

“Sick!” 

“But only if you promise to stop throwing yourself into danger the first chance you get.” 

Beau opened her mouth to make a smart-ass response, but that thought disappeared when Yasha’s gaze intensified for a moment.

“I’m serious Beau, you are loved and wanted here. All of us love you and we want you around for as long as possible, okay?” Yasha’s thumb traced across the apple of Beau’s cheek before moving down where her lip was split and swollen. “I’ll kiss you once. Only once, and then we’ll drink the tea Caduceus left us and sleep. We can always talk about more kissing in the morning once we’re both in a better shape to do so.” 

There were no protests from Beau, so Yasha moved to close the gap between them, lips hovering just milimeters from their goal.

“I love you!” Beau blurted out, blushing a deep berry shade now. “I um, I know it’s soon but I know how you feel about me and I was going to do this big romantic night thing but today’s battle ruined that, so I’m just saying it now...I love you. I have even since before I even knew I had a soulmate mark.”

Beau couldn’t tell if it was the flickering of various magic candles and light globules, but she thought she saw tears welling up in Yasha’s eyes before the barbarian smiled adoringly and kissed her until they both couldn’t breathe. 

“As if I couldn’t tell.” Yasha teased gently, pressing one more lingering kiss to Beau’s lips before she drew back and sighed. “I love you too, but we should really get some sleep. No-one will be happy in the morning if they find out we didn’t sleep after being told to do so.” 

Lucky for Yasha, Beau was already half-asleep by the end of her sentence. 


	2. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tumblr prompt:
> 
> Hi Hello There! You know what is coming BUT Beauyasha, soulmate au where they after a difficiult battle finally talk about them being soulmates ( I would love it if it's the hair-strip soulmate thingy But if you have another one in mind then go nuts my friend) -allenthelost
> 
> Warning for Main Character Injury, Near Death Experiences, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Possible Spoilers if you aren't caught up.   
> Chapter 2 is pretty much pure smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops. 
> 
> This is the first smut I've written and published in years, so pardon any glaring mistakes you might notice be they grammatic or sexual. I'm on the ace spectrum and don't have tons of "first-hand" experience so writing physical intimacy can be a real challenge. Enjoy the read!

Consciousness came to Beau slowly, like a shy sun taking its time to peek out from behind clouds in the late autumn sky. It took her a few moments to adjust her eyes to the warm ambient light illuminating her bedroom. She had to give it to Caleb for creating the magical fireplace that held three perfectly stacked logs. There was one in every room, each with a familiar stained glass mosaic above it that threw colors across the room when the firelight hit it just right. 

After spending a few moments in that hazy place between waking and falling back asleep Beau realized there was a warm body pressed tightly against her side.  _ Yasha. _ She smiled fondly upon lifting her head from Yasha’s chest, remembering how their bodies had fit effortlessly together like two parts of a whole person. 

One of Beau’s legs was thrown over Yasha’s waist, the other trapped between Yasha’s thighs, making it obvious that the two had gravitated even closer together at some point during the night. The steady, unending rhythm of Yasha’s chest rising and falling beneath her was a soothing balm to the anxiety lingering from the brush with death she’d had the previous day. 

This was brand new to Beau, this kind of physical closeness. Obviously, she hadn’t been “cuddled” much as a child, not that she  _ ever _ wanted that kind of restrictive embrace. Touch was a language Beau struggled to understand her entire life, she knew how to convey violence and anger through her fists, knew how to read lust and frustration when they were written across the lips of another woman, but she didn’t know how to  _ love _ and  _ be loved _ through touch.

Last night she’d promised Yasha she wouldn’t continue to throw herself into dangerous situations, but how could she ever promise that when Yasha made Beau feel like she was spontaneously going to combust from time to time?

Hesitantly, she lifts her arm from where it lay beside her and moved to trace mindless paths amongst the flora and runes curling down Yasha’s well-defined arm with a single digit. Her touch was light, barely ghosting touches here and there, as if afraid that too much contact would make her give in to the desire to explore every inch of the angel laying prone beneath her. 

Beau huffed a small sigh and picked at her nearly healed bottom lip with her free hand, the events of yesterday’s battle already playing through her head on a constant loop. Her hand stilled in its covert exploration of Yasha’s body and moved to gently rest over her heart for a moment as if to reassure her that it was still there and beating. 

The barbarian’s hair lay across the dark azure planes of Beau’s sheets like a layer of freshly fallen snow, the bits and baubles braided into her wild mane shining amongst the curls like lost treasure in the glow cast by the fire crackling restlessly nearby. 

“Mmm...Beau?”

Sleep had made Yasha’s normally soft voice husky, and the way she said Beau’s name oh so tenderly made the monk grip Yasha’s shirt tightly in one hand. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to- um- I just...needed to feel your heartbeat.” The words tumble from her lips haltingly, a blush already rising to her cheeks as she started to pull her hand away from Yasha’s chest only to find it wouldn’t budge, no thanks to the strong, pale digits encircling it. 

Beau turned her head up ever so slightly to meet Yasha’s gaze, a shiver coursing uninvited down her spine at the set of mismatched eyes staring back at her, lids heavy with pupils blown wide from something Beau couldn’t identify yet.

  
  


“I was going to ask how you feel this morning…” Yasha said simply, her gaze roving over the masterpiece framed with tousled chestnut waves laying atop her chest. She watched Beau’s nose crinkle ever so slightly as she picked apart the question in her mind, analyzing it and scanning it for any possible double meaning. Her grip on Beau’s wrist loosened enough to move so their hands lay with palms touching before their fingers laced together and Yasha brought the joined hands to her mouth paint kisses there, first brushing across the tops of Beau’s knuckles before landing oh so reverently on the back of Beau’s hand. 

Her soulmate looked soft with her hair loose, but that also could have been the last tendrils of sleep unwrapping themselves from her blurry vision. Beau’s electric gaze pulled away ever so slightly, seeming almost unsure for a moment before she pushed herself onto her left forearm so she could look down at Yasha. 

“I feel much better,” Beau answered steadily, even as her heart beat a tattoo against her ribs.

Yasha’s free hand reached up to rake gently through the deep brown expanse of silken locks falling like a curtain around their faces, watching Beau’s composed mask drop momentarily before she caught herself and tried not to lean into the touch as much as she had initially. That short glimpse beyond the final crumbling wall Beau had built around herself was enough to spur Yasha into action.

“Can I-?” 

“Yes.”

Beau blurted her answer before Yasha had the chance to finish her sentence, but the semi-intentional miscommunication wasn’t such a bad thing. It allowed the aasimar to cast Healing Hands on Beau before she could refuse.

“You winced when you sat up and tried to hide it, I noticed.” 

“You notice a lot, don’t you?” Beau remarked casually, gaze flicking from Yasha’s eyes to her lips and back as Yasha traced gentle patterns down her spine.

The barbarian decided to take matters into her own hands, literally. It was easy enough to reverse their positions with a single fluid motion consider she had a hold on Bea’s waist. Of course the reversal left Yasha with a knee on one side of Beau’s hips, the other resting comfortably between Beau’s thighs. 

“I’ve seen you Beau, and I  _ want _ to see all of you...know every inch of you.” 

Yasha may have been the one with divine blood coursing through her veins, but the vision of Beau beneath her- hair fanning out messily around her head like a halo of freshly turned earth- was the holiest thing she’d ever seen. 

“Kiss me.” 

The command was whispered with an awed reverence as if Beau couldn’t believe this was anything but a dream. Her usually steady hands shook as they moved up to tangle in the mass of white curls that made Yasha look all the more angelic, at least in Beau’s eyes. 

The first brush of their lips felt like a song they’d been singing together for ages. They moved together like a pair of well-practiced hands dancing over the ivory keys of a piano, each touch a melody, and each kiss a chord full of promise and adoration. 

The soft respite of this first kiss disappeared as soon as Beau’s fingers flexed to grip Yasha’s hair more tightly, dragging the angel down from her heavenly position above until their bodies crashed into each other with a fierceness that rivaled even the wildest of storms. 

Yasha swore she could taste lightning on Beau’s lips, and the strangled sound she made when her bottom lip was claimed roughly between her teeth was enough to make the aasimar reconsider her religion for just a moment. 

She already knew Beau wasn’t one for patience, and though there would be ample time to take things slow and exchange saccharine kisses and soft touches, that’s not what she wanted right now. If the impatient hand tugging at the bottom of her cotton shirt was anything to go by, it wasn’t what Beau wanted either. 

Her kiss drunk soulmate actually pouted when Yasha broke the kiss and sat up to remove the piece of clothing that was impeding Beau’s curious wandering hands. The woman beneath her followed Yasha as she sat up, as if drawn by a magnet, and pushed Yasha’s hands out of her way so she could be the one to reveal the chiseled ivory of her skin inch by inch. 

After tossing the shirt blindly into a corner of the room, Yasha turned her attention back to Beau, watching as the woman skimmed her dextrous hands across the planes of skin she’d only seen a few times before. Yasha could tell she was still hesitant to fully touch the body that was being freely offered to explore, so she took Beau’s hand and brought it to rest against her breastbone, letting the woman feel how her heart was beating at the walls of her chest like the quick wings of a caged bird. 

“You’re allowed to touch Beau.” She murmured lowly, guiding the hand across her flushing skin in lazy paths that followed the curves and dips between her breasts until she felt Beau take control of her exploration again. “I  _ want _ you to touch me, Beau.” 

Beau made a sound of want at that admission, nodding as her mouth and hands sought the stiffening peaks of nipples whose color reminded her of the soft pink roses that had grown along the trellis just outside her bedroom window in Kamordah. 

A low moan rumbled like unexpected thunder through the cavernous expanse of Yasha’s ribcage at the first stinging scrape of teeth against rosy flesh made sensitive by arousal. Beau pulled back with eyes darkened by renewed hunger when she heard the sound, shining lips curling into a smug display of pride at having drawn such a moan from the usually stoic barbarian.

“You’re wearing too much.” Yasha’s hands were already memorizing the way Beau’s abs flexed as she dragged blunt fingernails downward, skimming lightly over the new, pink scar tissue that was still tender and overly sensitive. 

\---

Beau had been on the wrong side of Caleb’s Wall of Fire before. The heat that blistered her skin then was nothing compared to the inferno Yasha had stoked to life within her very soul. It was very close to being too much, but the sureness of Yasha’s movements as she divested Beau of the sleeveless linen shirt she wore was enough to quell the thorns of anxiety pricking the edges of her mind like a persistent burr.

She couldn’t form coherent enough thoughts to worry about anything other than what was happening right now. How could she when Yasha’s tongue was tracing the small cut on her bottom lip that had reopened with the roughness of their increasingly hungry kisses? When that same tongue pressed forwards, demanding entrance to Beau’s mouth, she parted her lips and accepted Yasha into her mouth, a whine rasping at the back of her throat when she realized the metallic tang she tasted was that of her own blood. 

One of Yasha’s hands moved to brush some of her hair from her face, and Beau sighed into the kiss before pulling back for a second to catch her breath. A new emotion flashed across Yasha’s face, but Beau didn’t have time to think about what it could mean because flexed her fingers and tugged Beau’s hair, just a little roughly, to expose the soft expanse of her neck. 

The soft, breathy,  _ feminine _ gasp that escaped Beau’s parted lips in response to having her hair pulled made the monk flush a lovely color across her cheeks, hips rolling forward of their own accord. She hissed when Yasha’s teeth closed around the tender flesh where her neck met her shoulders harder than she’d been biting just moments before, unaware that Yasha was reacting to the fleeting graze of Beau’s thigh against the slick heat pooling in her center.

They kissed and touched and moved together with wandering lips and stinging teeth, each fighting to lay visible claim to the other. Beau felt the angel above her tremble every time she dug her nails just a little too hard into the solid muscle of her shoulders and filed that bit of information away for later. 

She loved the way Yasha exhaled soft moans when she sucked dark marks along the soft curves of her breasts. Loved the way Yasha would soothe every sharp nip of her teeth with the velvety drag of her tongue. At some point, Beau’s back had found the bed again. Time stretched out and slowed around Beau, around the both of them, as their souls and bodies finally connected. 

“Yash…” Beau almost didn’t recognize her voice. She sounded so...needy. 

“Mmm?” The woman worshipping Beau’s body didn’t miss a beat, continuing her exploration of the endless sea of twitching muscles that responded enthusiastically to even the lightest of brushes from her fingers or lips. 

“I want...” Beau threw her head against the downy soft pillows behind her and groaned as she tugged at the white locks in her hand, urging Yasha back up so their faces were even. “Please? I just want…” Dammit, why couldn’t she just ask for what she wanted?!

Despite the distracting and heady scent of arousal lingering in the air, Yasha’s gaze became focused the second she saw that familiar look of shame and self-doubt Beau got whenever she was unsure of asking for something, usually because she had somehow convinced herself she didn’t deserve it. Yasha decided that just wouldn’t do.

“I know asking for things can be hard for you sometimes, especially right now because we have a whole range of options.” Yasha brushed the white strip of hair that proclaimed their connection behind one of Beau’s golden pierced ears before continuing, “Would it help if I told you what I want?”

The human nodded slowly, both hands coming up to rest on either side of Yasha’s face, cupping her with such gentle adoration she was afraid they might both perish from the sweetness alone. She watched that same look pass over Yasha’s face again, and this time she understood what it was. 

It was hunger. 

\---

“I want to kiss every inch of your body. I want to learn each scar and the stories behind them. I want to taste you. I want to take you apart over and over and learn all the ways I can touch you to make you cry out my name-” The whimper that drew from Beau made Yasha grin wolfishly. “Are you going to let me finish talking, or are you going to interrupt me again?” 

The monk shook her head slowly and wet her lips before looking up at Yasha, waiting for her to continue.

“That’s a good girl.”

_ There we go. _ Yasha watched the restless woman beneath her finally still with those simple words. Beau looked as she’d been hit with one of her own Stunning Strikes, almost as if surprised by how much hearing Yasha say those words affected her. 

“I want to spend hours getting to know your body as well as you do. I want you writhing under my hand. I want you now, but I can wait if you’re not ready to do anything el-” 

Yasha’s words were cut off as Beau surged forward with a sudden explosive force and caught her in a kiss that left both of them panting as Beau pressed their foreheads together and locked eyes with her soulmate for far longer than was usual for her. 

“Please stop talking and fuck me. I just want you Yasha, gods, I have never wanted anything more than this. I love you so much…” Her tone was almost pleading and Yasha felt her try to press her thighs together, likely to give some kind of much-needed stimulation. 

“If you touch yourself without getting my permission, I won’t let you come.” 

Beau didn’t have time to think about that little command because Yasha had been looking in her eyes just a moment ago, but now she was wrapping her arms around each of Beau’s thighs, keeping them from clamping together the way they wanted to at the first molten stroke of her tongue. 

She takes her time exploring the silken heat with varying strokes, her tongue tracing meaningly patterns between the slick folds, noting when whatever she’s doing makes Beau’s hips try to push closer, hungry for more of the same stimulation.

Yasha never lets things get to the point of painful overstimulation, always pulling away before Beau can finish, much to the monk’s dismay. When she finally seals her lips around Beau’s clit, tongue lashing at the swollen bundle of nerves ruthlessly, the woman beneath her keens, back arching off the bed from the pulse of pleasure she’d felt. 

“Inside,” Beau pants, one hand gripping the bedsheets to keep from touching herself as instructed. “Use your fingers, please.” 

Beau doesn’t have to wait long for Yasha to comply as moments later, without warning, Yasha buries two fingers to the hilt in her cunt. She expects to make a sound in response to the sudden barrage of new sensations and pleasure wracking her body, but instead, she opens her mouth noiselessly and ruts uselessly forward as Yasha hums her contentment against her clit. 

Yasha’s feels the way Beau’s walls flutter hungrily around the minimal stretch of two fingers, unsatisfied, so she adds a third and feels herself grow even slicker at the strangled moan that manages to drag from the woman who was trying very hard to be quiet. That salacious moan and the sight of Beau slick folds stretching around her fingers are enough to make her own hips press uselessly into the bed beneath her. 

“Stop covering your mouth Beau, I want to hear every sound you make when you come.”

Her thighs are trembling now, inner walls gripping tightly at the three fingers pumping in and out at a quickening pace. “Yash, I can’t hold on for much longer.” 

The angel pulls away completely at that and after an initial moment of betrayal, Beau finally gets to see the full heavenly visage that is Yasha between her legs, arousal coating her tattooed chin, looking much like she’d just been interrupted in her devout worship of some holy or heavenly being. Yasha just stares reverently up at her for a few moments before curling the fingers buried deep in Beau just so.

“Next time, I’ll make you beg for it.” 

Next time Yasha would leave Beau on that precipice for longer, but she could tell her soulmate was already teetering on the edge of release, and she wanted to take care of her own needs sooner rather than later. Her tongue found its way back to Beau’s clit and circled it once, twice, three times.

“Let go.”

And Beau did.

Loudly. 

Messily.

Yasha was sure it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen, and she spent the minutes afterward coaxing small aftershocks of orgasms out of Beau with slow curling fingers and gentle kisses that followed a path up her salt kissed skin until she felt Beau’s hand seeking out one of hers. She obliged happily, lacing their fingers together and pressing a kiss to the back of Beau’s hand before clearing her throat slightly. 

Before she could even open her mouth it seemed Beau knew exactly what she was going to ask, because there were suddenly confident fingers parting the damp curls at the apex of her thighs, clumsy in their explorations for the first few moments as Beau’s mind returned from her state of post-orgasmic bliss. 

“Fuck, Yash. You’re so wet…” The aasimar growled impatiently as Beau took her sweet time bringing those talented fingers up to her face, winking at Yasha before drawing them into her mouth to taste Yasha. 

“Beau.” 

“Okay okay okay...Needy are we?” That earned Beau a sharp bite to one of her nipples, to which she let out an indignant sound and moved her hand back down between their bodies with a renewed purpose. 

It took only 37 seconds for Yasha to reach her release. Beau knew the exact number of seconds because she had counted each and every one that passed as her fingers found a nice rhythm against Yasha’s clit. The woman above her tensed as Beau’s finger dipped lower, just barely delving into the depths of her cunt before withdrawing to ruthlessly circle her clit. Beau caught Yasha in a heated kiss and swallowed the shout that came when Yasha did.

“I love you.” 

“And I love you.” 

Beau motioned to an adjacent room with a nod of her head and began to untangle her sense of self from where it was tightly coiled around Yasha, reluctant to let her go now that she had her.

“So I’ve got this bathtub…”

Yasha rolled her mismatched hues and ruffled Beau's chestnut waves teasingly, “Lead the way.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wellllll this wasn't supposed to be 3,400 words but I can't control my brain when it goes off on a writing spree like this. 
> 
> Thank you as always for reading, I really do hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Comments/Kudos are what keep me going, and if you have questions/etc you can find me on
> 
> tumblr: countingonkarma.tumblr.com  
> twitter: SweaterOfTears

**Author's Note:**

> How is it I always write way more than I intend for angsty pieces? 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this angsty piece, it was a blast to write. If you did enjoy it please leave some kudos or comments! I really enjoy reading any comments I receive on my fics and they help keep me going when writing gets hard. 
> 
> If you want to see more of my me/my responses to prompts, you can find me on   
> tumblr: countingonkarma   
> twitter: SweaterOfTears


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